The past four years of my life have been very crazy for me, and I honestly don’t know how I managed to get through everything. Not to say I’ve been through it all, but I’ve been through A LOT.
This summer, my outlook on life improved immensely. I felt like I was back to my old self, the happy-go-lucky Lana that I was in my youth, but even better.
About a year ago, after I had gotten out of a relationship, I was in a happy place, but most importantly, I felt free. What happens when one gets freedom? They go a little cray cray. If you don’t go crazy once you’re back to being single, you’re a robot. Or you were in a good relationship… But clearly not since you broke up. ANYWAY, I began to have my fun and do me. #ridingsolo. BUT THEN, people tried to bring me down. I experienced betrayal, back stabbing, and weird behavior from people around me. One day, I was asked to hang out, and then next, I was blocked. The next day re-added and so on. Many people did this to me. This was a very weird time for me, which then eventually turned into a state of unhappiness for several months. I let these people get to me. These dumb, low life, jealous, idiots. They were able to make ME, happy go-lucky-say-what’s-on-my-mind, ME, be unhappy. I was not having any enjoyment going out, and I became anti-social. I wasn’t motivated, and I wasn’t able to do anything that used to make me happy.
Come May, when I came back to New Jersey/ New York for the summer, I forced myself to get back to normal. To put myself out there again. To not be lazy. And guess what. I can honestly say, I’ve never been happier.
Now let me tell you about a turning point in my life, that shaped the person I became.
In third grade some boy said rudely to me, “Why do you always smiling? You smile too much.”
From that moment, I developed my resting bitch face, death stare, and evil looks. Looking back, I’m so disappointed in my 8 year-old self for listening to him. I was so full of life, energetic, and care-free, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with my life, but I chose to portray myself as if there was something wrong.
Now, I feel like 8 year-old Lana again. I am full of life, energetic, care-free and there is nothing THAT wrong with my life. I’m generally healthy, I have a family that loves me, I am #blessed to live a fortunate life, I attend a great University, and I have amazing friends that care about me. I also have been working very hard on this website; basically 24/7. I’ve always been a hard worker, determined, and full of ideas, and now I finally have the best outlet for that. And from this blog, I was able to get my first REAL JOB, as an Assistant Editor of LifeStyle Miami Group, as I discussed in my last post. What I’m doing makes me really happy, and I genuinely enjoy it.
And you know what else? I’m gonna smile more. Yeah, I have my #restingbitchface on most of the time, but inside I am happy and #unfuckwithable. And I have really nice white teeth.
I am at the level where nothing anyone says or does to me affects my happiness. #getonmylevel. Seriously, everyone should be at this level of happiness because it’s an amazing feeling.
#Realtalk though: Whenever someone is successful, happy, and doing well there’s always gonna be people who wanna knock them down. Let them try. At the end of the day, you’re the one doing things with your life, while the haters sit there and hate. With that said, stay tuned for my upcoming post called, “Jealousy is a Disease.”
I love the idea of being able to do what you like and that “if you do what you love, you never have to work a day in your life.”
In the meantime, I encourage you to set yourselves free, and to find what makes you happy. I encourage you to go out there and take risks. I encourage you to DO YOU, and everyone else will just need to #GETOVERIT.
You know who I am.